7 Self Love Principles to Live By in a World Addicted to Self Sacrifice
Is loving yourself the radical self care we all need?
I put some mushrooms in my coffee and listened to Louise Hay talk about self-love. I needed it. We all need it.
You are divine light. Part of the Universe. A piece of star. Loving yourself is your birthright. Only when we love ourselves unconditionally we can change into who we are. For this to happen, there are certain things we need to stop doing and things we need to start doing. Take what resonates with you. Make your own rules.
Being critical of yourself.
We all have a strong inner critic. It’s a harsh voice telling you that you’re doing things wrong. What you “need,” “must,” or “should” be doing instead. Being able to shut down this inner critic is hard but not impossible. You’re in control of my thoughts. So, when these thoughts arise, choose a different thought. Choose to accept yourself as you are. We are powerful beings. Our power is in choosing our thoughts. Our thoughts impact our behavior and create our reality. Choose to be OK with who you are. You’re doing your best. Take action not from fear but from love. It’s less scary and a lot more fun and easier. Do you want to see how easy it is to replace one thought with another? Cross your palms. Which thumb is on top? Now, uncross them and cross them again. Place the other thumb on top. Feels different, right? Awkward? Now repeat this a few times fast. Each time, it starts to feel a little more comfortable. It’s the same with your thoughts. Every time you choose to replace one thought with another, you create new pathways. It gets easier the next time. Just like a path less traveled. The more you walk down that path, the more visible that path becomes. Keep walking. Keep practicing.
Be kind and patient.
Like a garden needs water for the seeds to grow, your life garden also needs time. It needs love, it needs attention, it needs food, it needs sunlight. Things don’t happen overnight. No one is an overnight success. Stop comparing your beginning with someone’s end. You are where you need to be in this exact moment, and you are perfect the way you are. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a dear friend or a small child. The words you say to yourself have power. Choose your words carefully. Every thought has the power to break you or build you. The Universe is listening and delivering on what you say. “I need money” means the Universe will ensure you need money for a long time. If you choose fear and lack, you’ll get more scary things to keep you in that place. If you choose love and abundance, you’ll get more love and abundance. Love yourself. Be kind to your mind. Think kind of yourself. Fall in love with your flaws and failures. When you look into the mirror, say to yourself: “I love you. You’re sexy.” It makes for a better day. Every bad experience is a life experience. Every negative is a gift. Blame creates guilt which leads to pain and suffering. Replace blame with love. Turn your negatives into positives. That’s the game of life.
Learn to relax.
Our mind sends a signal to our body that we are under stress. But the opposite works too. Our bodies can signal to our minds that we are safe and secure, and everything is OK. Take a moment to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and release the tension. Imagine yourself standing on top of a mountain, on the beach, or in a beautiful forest. Let the sunshine on your face. Feel good. All is well in the world. You are doing fine. From this place of being centered, grounded, and safe, what action do you need to take next that will serve you best? What is your inner voice telling you? What are you hearing? There’s infinite wisdom in us if we slow down, tune in, and listen. Focus on this one small step forward. Let the rest appear in front of you. Watch the magic unfold in front of your eyes.
Celebrate your adulthood.
It’s time to separate yourself from the childhood ideas that you’re not worthy, deserving, or unloved. You are enough the way you are. You are deserving of love, joy, and abundance. You are worthy. Because you are breathing, living human. Let that shit go. Celebrate who you are, the way you are. Because you’re awesome. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You are unique. You are beautiful. You are light. Shine that light for everyone to see. You are not on this planet to play it small. You came for a purpose. Find it. Live it. Share it. But don’t hide from it. Maybe you need more skills. Learn them. Maybe you need more support. Find your tribe. Maybe you just need to show up. Do it. When did we learn to take ourselves so seriously? Life is just a big game. Play it. Laugh about it. Make your own rules. Release the tension. Relax your shoulders. Smile. Pretty soon, it will be over. We numb ourselves with alcohol and drugs to ease the pain that our inner child is still suffering from. Stop altering your reality. Make space to feel, to heal. You’re not a child anymore. Abandonment, scarcity, fear - let that crap go.
Take care of your body.
Stop punishing your body to numb your feelings. Emotional eating, wine therapy, and drugs are just masking our reality. Food is supposed to nurture us, not numb us. Choose carefully what you put in your body. This is your house for this life. Don’t stuff it with things that make you feel full on empty promises. Stuff it with things that make you feel good and give you good energy. One by one, choose your furniture wisely. The modern diet is full of things our bodies don’t need to thrive. Stop listening to trends, fads, and diet. What you put on your fork matters. Eat healthy, whatever that means to you. Fresh, organic, wholesome, with less labels. When you love yourself the way you are, you can let go of that extra weight. When you blame yourself for the extra weight, reaching for the ice cream is easier. Kick the ice cream out, but first, love yourself the way you are - fat, bumps, and Chocolate Chips and Mint in between. When we love ourselves, we change. Self-acceptance and self-love is how we create harmony within ourselves, others, and the planet.
Stop trying to change others.
Everyone is on their own journey. You can only control your own actions. When you love yourself fully, you’ll know if you need to let go of that toxic job, toxic relationships, move places, move countries, change careers. You are not here to change others. You are here to be yourself. Love yourself and follow what your heart tells you to do. Be more selfish.
Create your own playbook.
Our beliefs create guardrails to live by. Create yours. My personal beliefs are:
I’m unique and have something of value to offer to the world. The Universe has my back.
Everything comes in its own divine timing. I choose to replace struggle with flow and trust.
I don’t need to know everything. What I need to know will find me when the time is right.
The more I learn, the less I know.
Every moment is a miracle. Sometimes it’s hard to see it. But it’s there.
What I give, I get back. Love is the answer. I love myself, and I’m loved.
I’m growing and changing every day. I stay open to new ideas. My goal is to become more of who I was born to be.
I’m abundant and prospering in anything I decide to do as long as I do it from a place of love and joy. My income and wealth are always increasing and I don’t need to know the how.
All is well. I’m well. Life will show me the way. All I have to do is trust it.
Create your own beliefs. Change them as you change. This is the path to self-worth and self-love. This is how we can create more harmony in the world. It starts with us.
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